Ornate Push




Thursday, July 14, 2005

Work like a biatch, baby !

Hello reader, its very kind of you to come back, do I owe you money or something?


Disjointed long post ahead

-end warning-

Here I am again, in this beautiful, perfectly square corporate cubicle, you out there with all the world at your fingertips. Thank god my work allows mobile phones with mp3's and radio to be plugged in all day. God knows what might happen if they all broke and my co-workers had to talk to each for more than 30 seconds. Would the universe self-destruct ? Probably. If the other 7 inmates of my cell block at work had to spend a day "getting to know you" 2 would never come back to work through fear of the republicans, 1 would claim we're all against women being successful in IT (I'm not btw, the best boss I ever had was a woman), 2 would start killing each other as slowly as possible before coffee break at 11am and our boss would sack the rest of us for not communicating efficiently whilst minimizing costs.

If I mention poker to anyone here they will immediately look for the nearest corporate suckup whos not doing anything and start another conversation about ANYTHING to get away from this degenerate outcast. It's amazing what people will do to make sure they don't look bad at work. If there's no-one else around to start a new conversation with the typical response is nervous laughter, followed by a cold stare back into their monitor as if some tractor-beam has locked onto their eyes, sucking them back into the pre-release risk report as if its the one thing they want to do before they turn 40. I don't brag about poker at work, I hardly mention it all, but occasionally I drop it into conversation, just to see if the mainstream world is changing its opinion and if poker is really gaining respect in the world. So far the answer is an emphatic "No". At least round these parts. So I'm going to stop mentioning it until I turn pro, which if all goes to plan will be around September when I win the 3 or more of PokerStars WCOOP events !

Y'see the problem today, this wonderful 29 degree C day, is that its 29 outside and about 35 in here. By some miracle of engineering this is the world best insulated office cubicle, it traps heat better than a triple-insulated-double-sided-polycarbonate greenhouse. Whatever this place is made of, its the kind of the shit that could save the world in the next ice age. Hell's probably a lot like this, only a few degrees hotter and without the coffee machine that spits out cold coffee in case someone sues after burning their tongue.

It was my old man's birthday yesterday, it was his Hammer b'day, 72 years young. And he is young for his age, god I hope I'm that fit and active if I ever reach my Hammer. Shit I hope I get better at poker before then too, otherwise I've got another 38 years of sweating out this cubicle every summer, 43 years if the pension crisis really happens, at least working in sauna every day stops me putting on too much weight.

DAMN ITS HOT, I'm going outside for a ciggie-break and cool down in the sun....

...I'm back, and can confirm its cooler out in the sunshine than in here.

Another curse of this office is that from the lounge on the top floor where the drinks machine is you can see The Bay which is beautiful and I'm sooo glad it's there, but seeing it when you're stuck in here is like strapping me to a chair with 6 rolls of gaffer tape and getting Angelina Jolie and Shana Hiatt to play strip poker in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably go for that if you offered me it but shit I'd die of frustration. Especially today, if you go look at that webcam, the water today is the most perfect it has been all year, and days like these are truly rare and to be savoured. Not a cloud in the azure sky, that mirror of an ocean so still and inviting, I adore it, and I know I'm lucky to have it just 10 minutes walk away. But Damn I hate being in lock-down here, when I see what its like out there.

So here's a message for you, dear reader, if it's nice where you are, and you don't have to work today. Don't sit there playing poker, you can do that tonight when the fish are having their feeding frenzy, get out, enjoy it and marvel at how incredible the world is that it treats us to such delights. And while you're there spare a thought for the poor souls stuck in cubicles who can't live off their poker hobby yet and be thankful, for otherwise the poker gods shall foresake thee.


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Ornate - adj. 1. Elaborately, heavily, and often excessively ornamented. 2. Flashy, showy, or florid in style or manner;

Push - 1. To exert outward pressure or force against something. 2. To advance despite difficulty or opposition; press forward. 3. To expend great or vigorous effort.

Ornate Push - The messy ramblings of a troubled poker player and tilted mind.


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