Ornate Push




Wednesday, July 27, 2005

This is a poker weather service announcement.

Summer is here, and like usual the British summer weather will not be all sunshine and smiles during the next 6 weeks. The start of the Uni Holidays will see an end to what has been a prolonged dry spell of average variance, normal flops, and decent play. High variance, bonehead plays and extreme swings may be ever present in this unsettled time, with areas of High and Low pressure both featuring over the next fortnight. Possibility of thunderstorms gathering late in the summer evenings.

By mid August the High variance is expected to decay, with Low pressure dominating in the south. The forecast may still be unsettled due to favourable variance for students in Manchester and Edinburgh, but in the main the heavy swings and downpours should have died down as the student grants begin to move away to the north-east

Late August will see a return to the balmy summer weather we all enjoy, high pressure will return from the south, but variance will drop as only those with some skill or Banks of Mum & Dad Plc continue to feature in mainland online poker. This will bring a dried spell of weather but with cooler nights, ensuring players sleep much easier.

Next Month - September - Indian Summer or Nice Weather for Fish ?


I've seen more crazy plays in the last week than I've seen all year. New players are descending on our world like never before and IT IS GOOD. People who can't play poker are playing poker against people who read books, study odds and improve their game. This is good news for everyone's bankroll.

It MIGHT be bad news for my temperament though.

Last night i was beaten badly by players on 2 occasions. I commented after each, "nh, but that was an asshat play" If someone outplays me I'll give them respect and say "good hand" or "well played" but when idiots beat me out I cant help myself, I feel the need to tell them they've been stupid, mathematically or strategically. AS IF it's going to make things better ! I got called a bad loser because "this is gambling after all" and "you gave me odds to call" which I clearly did not. I must learn to restrain the Helmuthian side of my play, it only lasts about 60 seconds, but in that 60 seconds I can go from being a normal person to a complete asshat. After all these same plays are what makes it possible to get to the final table in a 500 player multi, and I embrace them when using it to stay ahead of the blinds and other players. The thing that makes them so painful is the nature of tourneys themselves. You can make 59 great decisions and then the last one is either you own stupidity or someone elses luck and can make it all count for nothing. Losing hurts like hell, thats why I'm sometimes a bad loser. I admit it. I try not to be but I am, and in a way I'm glad I am, because if I wasnt I wouldn't spend so much time reading and practicing to improve my ability at this game.

I already medititate most days when I get home from work, so in order to try to control the "asshat" factor I'm going to start low level meditation while I play and see how it goes. I'll be sure to let you know if it has any positive effect!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Suckout City

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

- Kurt Vonnegut

OK, so I know we've all had bad beats, and I know how much bloggers and poker players hate reading about them, for every bad beat I put up here you can tell me 10 worse. Fine. I wont put too many of the sordid details down in this post or cut-and-paste reams of hand histories, but f**k me yesterday I was on the receiving end of the shittiest day of poker I've experienced this year. Its my own fault, after concentrating and playing some of my best poker online for the last week, yesterday I figured, its Sunday I'll take it easy, play some lower limits and scoop some easy cash. I forgot how bad and frustrating lower limit tourneys can be.
Of the 12 SNG's and 3 multis I played yesterday my best finish was one 3rd in an SNG. F**k. I was only had the worst of it in 2 of those games when the money went in. Thats 13, yup 13 suckouts in a row. Pain. Frustration. I clearly still have issues with this, making correct decisions and watching others make terrible ones and win. This feeling was exascerbated by having friends sat next to me who still insist poker is all about luck and bluffing, has no skill factor, and is convinced that everyone who plays has been suckered into believing otherwise by the poker boom, and will all go broke sooner or later. I dont want to bore you too much (too late!), but possibly the worst of these was one of the mutli table tournaments I was in.

With blinds at 50/100 I was dealt pocket kings UTG+1, and the previous hand had been won by pocket aces, UTG called the BB, I raised 3x BB, UTG+2 folds, MP1 goes allin for 630, MP2 folds, LP1 folds, LP2 calls the 630.

Ok, got that - LP2 calls an UTG limp 'warning sign 1', an UTG+1 raise 'warning sign 2' and an allin from MP1 'warning sign 3'

It gets worse...
the cutoff folds, SB folds and the BB calls as well. Great ! I'm getting paid off big time.
So now UTG calls too, there are just too many people here, I need to try and narrow the field. Raise another 900, leaving me 500.
LP2 calls again, the BB folds and UTG calls it. Well at least I got one person on. sheesh these guys must have monster hands too.
Finally we see a flop.
Awesome, no ace. Happy days.
UTG checks, I'm all in for my remaining 500.
Call, Call.

and we flip our cards.

UTG - AdKd
Me - KsKc
MP1 - 10c10d
LP2 - (this is the shit bit) - 6d7h

Calling all that action preflop with 67 off, nice play donkey. Flopping the nut straight, incredible luck. I was out of the tournament but couldn't acknowledge the comments or talk to anyone for about 10 minutes. My mates were proved right, its all luck and "knowing" your cards are gonna be lucky. I know, I know, I make money from people like this, they are truly a blessing and should be welcomed with open arms, but yesterday was their day. The day which keeps them coming back and reloading their bank roll time and time again.

Maybe it was just god's way of telling me not to play poker on a Sunday.

Fortunately we had some chillin tunes and drinks in the sun to relax, so I got blasted in the sunshine with my friends. Always a guaranteed immediate solution to any tiltage problems.

To complete the day at least I was able to take part in something good to lift my spirits. The first WPBT CharlieTuttle Memorial Tournament on Poker Stars. 144 Players signed up, many of them with no intention of playing, just good souls willing to donate to a very good cause. After 10 minutes or so sat with both
AlCantHang and Bill Rini on my right, (not a good place to be, as Al was taking most of the early pots without challenge), I was moved to a new table and sat to the immediate right of Pauly. That was cool for me, I've been reading Pauly's blog for a couple of months now and wanted a chance to say thanks for the great job he'd done covering the WSOP. So how did I thank him ? I knocked him out of the tournament when his pocket 10's hit my pocket K's. Oops, not the best way to say thank you. Well everyone's gotta go sometime, and I busted myself about half an hour later when I was allin preflop with AQ against AJ, and a J spiked the turn. All good fun and those involved raised over $2880 for a very good cause. Nice one.

I'll leave you with this for when the bad beat strikes...

"I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy"
- Tony Robbins

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Work like a biatch, baby !

Hello reader, its very kind of you to come back, do I owe you money or something?


Disjointed long post ahead

-end warning-

Here I am again, in this beautiful, perfectly square corporate cubicle, you out there with all the world at your fingertips. Thank god my work allows mobile phones with mp3's and radio to be plugged in all day. God knows what might happen if they all broke and my co-workers had to talk to each for more than 30 seconds. Would the universe self-destruct ? Probably. If the other 7 inmates of my cell block at work had to spend a day "getting to know you" 2 would never come back to work through fear of the republicans, 1 would claim we're all against women being successful in IT (I'm not btw, the best boss I ever had was a woman), 2 would start killing each other as slowly as possible before coffee break at 11am and our boss would sack the rest of us for not communicating efficiently whilst minimizing costs.

If I mention poker to anyone here they will immediately look for the nearest corporate suckup whos not doing anything and start another conversation about ANYTHING to get away from this degenerate outcast. It's amazing what people will do to make sure they don't look bad at work. If there's no-one else around to start a new conversation with the typical response is nervous laughter, followed by a cold stare back into their monitor as if some tractor-beam has locked onto their eyes, sucking them back into the pre-release risk report as if its the one thing they want to do before they turn 40. I don't brag about poker at work, I hardly mention it all, but occasionally I drop it into conversation, just to see if the mainstream world is changing its opinion and if poker is really gaining respect in the world. So far the answer is an emphatic "No". At least round these parts. So I'm going to stop mentioning it until I turn pro, which if all goes to plan will be around September when I win the 3 or more of PokerStars WCOOP events !

Y'see the problem today, this wonderful 29 degree C day, is that its 29 outside and about 35 in here. By some miracle of engineering this is the world best insulated office cubicle, it traps heat better than a triple-insulated-double-sided-polycarbonate greenhouse. Whatever this place is made of, its the kind of the shit that could save the world in the next ice age. Hell's probably a lot like this, only a few degrees hotter and without the coffee machine that spits out cold coffee in case someone sues after burning their tongue.

It was my old man's birthday yesterday, it was his Hammer b'day, 72 years young. And he is young for his age, god I hope I'm that fit and active if I ever reach my Hammer. Shit I hope I get better at poker before then too, otherwise I've got another 38 years of sweating out this cubicle every summer, 43 years if the pension crisis really happens, at least working in sauna every day stops me putting on too much weight.

DAMN ITS HOT, I'm going outside for a ciggie-break and cool down in the sun....

...I'm back, and can confirm its cooler out in the sunshine than in here.

Another curse of this office is that from the lounge on the top floor where the drinks machine is you can see The Bay which is beautiful and I'm sooo glad it's there, but seeing it when you're stuck in here is like strapping me to a chair with 6 rolls of gaffer tape and getting Angelina Jolie and Shana Hiatt to play strip poker in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably go for that if you offered me it but shit I'd die of frustration. Especially today, if you go look at that webcam, the water today is the most perfect it has been all year, and days like these are truly rare and to be savoured. Not a cloud in the azure sky, that mirror of an ocean so still and inviting, I adore it, and I know I'm lucky to have it just 10 minutes walk away. But Damn I hate being in lock-down here, when I see what its like out there.

So here's a message for you, dear reader, if it's nice where you are, and you don't have to work today. Don't sit there playing poker, you can do that tonight when the fish are having their feeding frenzy, get out, enjoy it and marvel at how incredible the world is that it treats us to such delights. And while you're there spare a thought for the poor souls stuck in cubicles who can't live off their poker hobby yet and be thankful, for otherwise the poker gods shall foresake thee.

Bubble Boy

Thats me ! I busted 21st in the Night Time Xpress £20+2 where 20 places paid. I stupidly called an allin from the tightest player at the table with AcQc which left me with only 150 chips. He showed JJ and despite 2 clubs on the flop I didnt improve on the turn or river and became Billy Bubble Boy on the very next hand!! Oh well 21/148 is still showing me I played ok, just not A-game

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

WPBT Tournament for Charlie Tuttle

Charlie Tuttle is a dear friend to the blogging community and the best friend of Jason Spaceman. After a long battle with cancer, he passed away a couple of weeks ago. In honor of Charlie's memory, several bloggers set up a memorial tournament with all proceeds going towards a fund selected by Charlie's family.

I'd like to ask everyone i know and any readers of my blog to sign up for the tournament. If you are a reader or blogger, you should spread the word about this event in newsgroups, poker forums, at your home game, and contact everyone in your address book. We have an opportunity to step up and do a great thing.

If you don't know the story... feel free to read: A Guy named Charlie.

Here is the tournamnet information (thanks to BG):
WPBT "Charlie" Tournament

When? 6PM EST Sunday July 17th

Where? PokerStars... Check under the Private Tournament Tab

How Much? $20 - every penny goes to charity

What Do I Get When I Win? The comfort of knowing you're doing something good for someone else. No, Really... No. Really.

All proceeds to go to wherever Charlie Tuttle's family wants them.

The tournament is open to bloggers and readers.

London Bombers

Police now suspect that the apparent suicide bombers in last thursday's attacks were British born. Home grown terrorists. I simply can't fathom what causes these people to take such action. These apparently young individuals were obviously warped by older and more cunning minds in their young lives, and somehow convinced to take their own lives in order to attack others.

I wonder what earlier events in these men's lives convinced them it was worth even thinking about this taking this pointless path. Did it have anything to do with the war in Iraq ? Could it be related to some minor incident earlier in their lives that they had never even discussed ? Bullying in school ? Racism ? Rejection by society ? Maybe they were caught up in the Bradford riots in the summer of 2001 ? Or were driven further in this direction by the rise of the BNP in their area. Quite likely it was none of the above, or a combination of them all, we will probably never know.

Whatever the cause, nothing can ever justify the cruel and callous way these attacks targeted the lives of innocents from all nationalities, all religions. Life is precious and every religion I've ever come into contact with has that as it's common theme. Those who say otherwise and use it to justify their actions are liars and would surely be rejected by their God for claiming so.

I hope extremism never touches my life or yours as directly as those poor souls who have lost loved ones during last weeks atrocities. My thoughts and prayers go out to them.

Whatever you do, don't let them win. Don't let it change you. We Are Not Afraid

In the wake of all this the emergency services and police investigation should be given praise indeed. Reports from the day itself suggest that all the drills which had been practiced ran suprisingly well in such a chaotic situation and the pace of the police investigation has been simply incredible to watch and very reassuring. The attacks also highlighted to me this blog, which is a fascinating and gripping insight into the world of the emergency services.

Tonights Tourneys

I played some pretty ok poker tonight on an interpoker affiliated site. I entered the 300 player £10+1 tourney and managed to place in the money, just. Finishing 27th for a measly profit of £4 but thats better than nowt and I got busted when I pushed preflop with KsQh but got called by the BB who had KcJh and caught the straight on the river.

I also played the £30+3 with 396 entrants, but busted just outside the money, finishing 59th. The most interesting hand I caught in that is this one posted below, which happened very early on and gave me a huge stack early but after that the cards were just laughing at me and i wasnt paying enough attention while i finished the other game. I actually ended up on auto fold by accident for about 6 hands and when I pulled up the hand history saw that on one of those hands I would have turned the nut flush and probably survived the bubble ! :o(

-----HAND 4------Game #645515884: Texas Hold'em No Limit (10/20) - 2005/07/12 - 20:08:22 (GMT)Table "£15K_GTD 804395 - 5"
Seat 8 is the button.
Seat 1: Pxxxxxx (1400 in chips)
Seat 2: txxxxx (1370 in chips)
Seat 3: Axxxxxx (1820 in chips)
Seat 4: Dxxxxxx (1330 in chips)
Seat 5: Me (1500 in chips)
Seat 6: Bxx_xxxx sits out
Seat 7: Sxxxxx sits out
Seat 8: Sxxxxxx (1280 in chips)

Seat 9: Xxxxxxx (1770 in chips)
Seat 10: oxxxxxx (1040 in chips)
xcuseme: posts small blind 10
overner: posts big blind 20

----- HOLE CARDS -----

dealt to Me [Jc Qd]
Pxxxxx: folds
txxxxx: folds
Axxxxxx: raises to 60
Dxxxxxxxx: folds
Me: calls 60
Sxxxxxxx: folds
Sxxxxxxx sits back
1xxxxx: folds
1xxxxx sits back
Sxxxxxx: calls 60
Xxxxxxx: calls 50
oxxxxx: calls 40

----- FLOP -----
[Th Ks 8c]
Xxxxxxx: checks
oxxxxxx: checks
Axxxxxx: bets 200
Me: calls 200
Sxxxxxx: calls 200
Xxxxxxx: raises to 1710 and is all-in
oxxxxxx: is all-in 980
Axxxxxx: calls 1510
Me: is all-in 1240
Sxxxxxx: is all-in 1020

----- TURN -----
[Th Ks 8c][Ad]

----- RIVER -----
[Th Ks 8c Ad][5c]

----- SHOW DOWN -----
Xxxxxx: shows [Td Ts] (Three of a kind, Tens, Ace high)
oxxxxxx: shows [Kd 8s] (Two Pairs, Kings and Eights, Ace high)
Axxxxxx: shows [Ah Kh] (Two Pairs, Aces and Kings, Ten high)
Me: shows [Jc Qd] (A Straight, Ace high)
Sxxxxxx: shows [9s Js] (High Card Ace)
Xxxxxxx collected 540 from Side pot #3
Me collected 660 from Side pot #2
Me collected 960 from Side pot #1
Me collected 5200 from Main pot

----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot 7360
Main pot 5200
Side pot #1 960
Side pot #2 660
Side pot #3 540

Board [Th Ks 8c Ad 5c]

Seat 5: Me showed [Jc Qd] and won (6820) with A Straight, Ace high
Seat 9: Xxxxxxx (small blind) showed [Td Ts] and won (540) with Three of a kind, Tens, Ace high

WSOP Main Event

The end is approaching, the field is thinning, and the money is getting bigger and bigger for ever player remaining. Make sure you head over to http://taopoker.blogspot.com for regular live updates and photos.

While you're there send some positive energy to Michael Cribb, a member of
http://www.flopturnriver.com who's still in there with a chance of making it to the final table.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Confession Time

I'll start as I mean to go on, with honesty. I should have started this blog a long time ago, but the truth is I'm one of those people who have an idea and think it'll be the next big thing for about 2 days and then after boring anyone who'll listen about how great it is, completely forget about it and move on the next big thing. Some people call it pipe dreams, but I prefer to think of it as just not having discovered what I really want to do with my life yet.

My confession is that I'm a bandwagon follower, show me a new idea that's not-quite-mainstream-about-to-be-discovered and I'll jump on it before you can say "all-in", but as soon as it becomes mainstream and every man/woman and his/her dog knows about it I often lose interest and jump onto the next wagon that passes going the other way.

But as I said I've wanted a blog for a long time now, 6 months or more. That's a very long term relationship for me and the voices thoughts in my head, so I finally decided to give in and make a start. I hope it lasts, I hope some of you last the journey too, and come along with me for the ride.

Contact Details

Yahoo IM : TanOrpheus



Ornate - adj. 1. Elaborately, heavily, and often excessively ornamented. 2. Flashy, showy, or florid in style or manner;

Push - 1. To exert outward pressure or force against something. 2. To advance despite difficulty or opposition; press forward. 3. To expend great or vigorous effort.

Ornate Push - The messy ramblings of a troubled poker player and tilted mind.


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