Blind Stupidity

Good News -

Hatton won in the 9th by KO, one of the best KO's you're ever likely to see, the man's a machine and should be given his next fight in America to show the world how good he is and allow him the chance to unify the 3rd of the 4 belts in his division.

More Good News -

I finished 6th in one of the 180 SNG's on Stars, netting a tidy profit and playing pretty good poker.

Bad News -

(The next paragraph has a large frequency of explicit words - be advised)

Sometimes when I'm playing poker with friends around I let emotion creep in and I'm a fucking idiot. I played in the $10 rebuy in stars, played ok, then bad, then good and got deep in it, 3 hours in, 160 left 99 pays. Then my friend who's been watching a while is sensing it's getting boring, I'm folding for 25 minutes, the blinds aren't a worry, i'm average stack and can bide my time waiting for a hand, like you do, easy. Piece of piss. Except there's a friend watching asking why you're folding A5 SOOTED, saying "I'd have gone with that", "look you'd have won that hand if you'd played it", "are you going to go allin" - and the seed is set. Self control, all that fucking hard work you've done to your brain for the last 3 hours telling it NO, Don't throw more chips in after that pot, You're beat get away and wait for another chance, patience patience patience - it's all fucking worthless cause you want it to be entertaining now, you want them to enjoy it and be right for a change on a hand, you completely forget that they haven't got a clue about playing the kind of good poker it takes to win a tournament, that it's not there fucking money we're playing with. And you turn into a moron in the space of 10 seconds, raising under the gun with a crap suited ace, betting the ace high flop and then coming over the top of a check-min raise from the weak tight player in the small blind who's clearly fucking hit the flop better than you did.

It's idiotic, goes against everything I've spent two years sitting in front of computer "studying" for, and I'm really fucking angry with myself. I had a good shot at that tourney, and I fucked it up for the sake of making someone else feel entertained. That's not the point of playing. Winning and being the best is the point of playing. What a fucking prick I can be.

Goddam that feels better to get that out.

Now I can finally stop thinking and get some sleep.