We're not arrogant, we just believe we're the best band in the world - Noel Gallagher, Oasis
I have less and less for time for poker lately and it makes me feel like an amatuer when I do sit down. When I haven't played for any great length of time in a week it means that I end up overvaluing medium pockets, not being able to make any good lay downs and creating the kind of hopeful reads that I've seen other people make and shaken my head at it. Maybe I'm being a little harsh on myself, I've suffered some silly beats along the way this week, like being called by JJ on a A77 board when I held the A and he turned a Jack. I asked the guy if he was f'ing psychic in the chat. That response alone probably shows you the kind of tilt my poker personality is experiencing at the moment. Last night in the bloggerment I even pushed my 99 into a reraise from the blinds and got bumped with KK, overplayer that I am.
There's been good stuff this week too, of course, I FT'd a $5 MTT on Doyles room and turned $90 profit after a fish put me out in 5th. At the same time I won a seat to the $200k GTD at the same site in an MTT satellite, I couldn't play in the actually tourney but it still felt good to book the wins. The problem, it seems, is that right now I feel I NEED to win. I suspect that it is due to having a mortgage, more bills, less disposable income, that the winning has foolishly become more important than playing well. It feels like I've gone backwards a year in maturity on the poker front.
My proposed solution to this experience is to play more cheap games. I'm going to step way back and play NL$10 max buyin cash games, and $4 and $5 MTT's, even some freerolls. Until I still feeling like a poker player again instead of just a gambler.