Fear

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
--- Frank Herbert, Dune

I still have the fear. Last night it was totally unjustified fear too, I went bust in three tourneys when I lost a race with QQ v AK, got KK bettered by AK and AA sailed away on the river to an OESD. All good decisions. All right moves. Even doing it right I still got the fear. In the live cash games I've played the fear has actually helped,
"You don't really have a tell, you just always look like you're shitting it" said Twister on our last Vegas trip
Unfortunately I always am. I could turn quads and I'd still be panicking about not playing it right to get paid off. Helpful when you've got it, disastrous when bluffing. I eventually learned that everyone calls in Vegas anyway.

I quashed the fear late-on by playing games I wasn't scared of busting from after 4 or 5 hours. Baby buyin sit n gos. 2 and 3 table easy quick games. Two seconds and a first made me a winner and up for the night, Ha ! Take that fear.

Before I play tonight I'll be reading this to remind me to forget about the ego and the fear.